Friday, December 23, 2011
it is my birthday today. i am now older than i was yesterday and the day before. the sun has already set and i'm enjoying the remaining hours of the most amazing thing that ever happened to christmas eve eve.
too many blessings to account and i am forever grateful for each one. nothing else can ever be compared to being surrounded by family and friends on your birthday.
crap. the emo side of me is coming out again. baah. birthday eve: laughter was enjoyed... copious amounts of beer was had... shots were had... delicious food was had... more merriment was had... photos were taken... gifts were exchanged... pitchers kept coming... more laughters were shared... it was a highly excellent night! the morning time was pretty epic (yeah douche, i still say 'epic') as well. too much birthday morning fun. there are videos. oh and this needs a special mention: jodie was nicer to me too.
dude, i have the most amazing friends and bestfriends! i ask myself sometimes what did i ever do to be surrounded by these bozos. oh yeah drugs. hahaha. count your friends. they are blessings.
my adorable parents, thank you for consummating your love in spring 1985.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
i gave them their christmas presents tonight as well. coz it is freakin normal to give gifts when you're celebrating your birthday.
early-late twenties in 3 days. yowza!
happy and content.
typhoon sendong came. crazy flashfood at 2-3 in the morning. no electricity. they can barely see anything. come morning, vehicles piled on top of each other...dead bodies everywhere. bodies of those who were helplessly braving the strong water current. children, men, women, you name it.
my heart goes out to everyone in iligan and cagayan de oro. those two beautiful provinces are now covered in mud, water, and people crying out for our help. i'm encouraging everyone to donate. we are more than lucky to not be in their position right now. but can you imagine if we are?
click for info on how and where to donate: philippine red cross
thank you in advance and have a wonderful christmas!
Monday, December 12, 2011
just recently i've accepted a huge responsibility in my church. and it terrifies me. when my grandma passed away in september, i questioned that thing called life. how i'm living mine and if there's more for me. i felt like i'm wasting away. i still question my existence more often than usual. so i guess maybe saying yes to what my church is asking of me would help eh? through this, i could probably touch somebody's life. make an impact, religiously or not.
i am not a jesus freak. i am not a role model. i'd kill myself if i tell you to follow me. i am not perfect. i have my fair share of wrong doings, maybe more. maybe more than i myself is aware of. i will never push my beliefs on you. honestly, sometimes i don't even know for sure where i stand when it comes to believing in god. but this is me. most of the time i just need to have someone bigger than anything i know to put my faith on. most of the time....it's god. that fact calms me down.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
it's new york city. i didn't see nyc at all this year. a lot of people say new yorkers are rude. those people are
wrong. for the last 3 years that i have been visiting THE city, i've only (so far) encountered 1 rude new yorker. she's racist too. but whatever.
"you shouldn't let people like that ruin your fun."
after that incident, me and my bestfriend went to wall street and grabbed the charging bull's cold iron balls. glorious.
no "no standing" signs for me this year. nah, i'm not bitter. not even to the slightest. 2011 has been full of surprises. one more month of whatever-is-there-to-come-my-way. then i'd be the happiest to say "it's been a grand humbling year of ups and downs. i'm still in repair but i'm learning."
Monday, November 28, 2011
we don't have any blood relatives here in edmonton. but we have an abundance of extended family that i happily call my aunties, uncles, and cousins. with the holidays creeping its way in, they are the closest thing to blood family that we could have.
we are blessed.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
for the most part, i am thankful for being loved back, unmeasurably, by the ones that matter to me the most.
my cup sure does run over.
paying it forward...
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
those were kuya edgar's words to my aunt emma who flew back to england on that monday morning. mamang passed away in the afternoon of that same day.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
i have this row all to myself. row 54, seats A, B, and C. having this much space icarb enclosed area gives me time to think. time to process and prepare myself for what i would call the absolute worst thing i have to endure so far.
she's 90. she was in the hospital for about 2 months. pneumonia and then complication after complication. they discharged her 2 weeks ago because she was getting better. everything is being arranged for the recovery road. we thought she really was getting better. thoughts can lie.
within 5 hours upon getting the unfortunate news, flights were booked. my phone went off at 4 in the morning. i got the news by way of twitter. 2 tweets that included the word "condolence" in them from friends who care deeply about my family.
"fuck. oh my god. holy fuck. shit. fucking shit."
those were the only words that my brain could command my lips to open to.
"my grandma is gone."
all i could do was lay there in darkness. i wanted to drown. i didn't know i could feel such pain. luckily, i have my bestfriend next to me. she was very helpful and consoling. i don't know what i'd do without her.
at that very moment, memories of mamang (grandma) came rushing to me. she was never your typical doting grandma who bakes you cookies and makes you quilts for christmas. nope. and yet not one of her 26 grandchildren complained about that fact ever. she loved and cared for us in her own way. nobody knows really if she favored any of her grandchildren because none of us felt unloved. however, i can still remember my mom telling me a story of how mamang would tell the other kids to not touch the mangoes coz she's saving them for me.
when mamang used to have chickens, every sunday morning that we're visiting her, she would call on those chickens with this chickenly something sound that she makes. for us grandkids, that means one thing..."time to get up and start doing the house chores!" we all hated it. those mango leaves were total pain to get rid of off her backyard. we all complained and mumbled and yet we'd all still do it. the reward? beach time for 4 whole hours!
on monday evening, i checked facebook. i wanted to see what my cousins changed their status message to. everyone wrote something different. and from those, you can tell what kind of relationship each of her grandkids had with her.
i asked my sister, ailee, if she cried when she first heard about mamang's passing. she said it made her sad right away. and then eventually the thought of mamang not being there anymore made her even more sadder. it kills her, she said.
mamang is a pretty cool grandma to joke around and have fun with. she wasn't perfect but she was more than enough for us. i love the fact that she was different in her own little way. she may be stubborn at times but we all loved her for it. never will i ask for another grandma.
goddamn it, just typing 'was' instead of 'is' is breaking my heart.
i will miss you so much, mamang. can't wait to fistbump with you again. in that morning...in that bright morning...someday...
nothing but love.
- good gawd. there are kids behind me. and they are painfully obnox.
- luckily, this flight is only less than 2 hours long.
- i'm still on my way to manila and i already feel like i have gained 10 lbs.
- so fucking tired.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
- someone is still on their phone....someone is still on their phone!! *looks around* .....mother, hang up!
- shit! i forgot my meds!
- 1987. that's the password to person on seat 12C's iPad. #notcreepy
- my eyes have been too heavy since last night. will now attempt to clock in some snooze.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
apparently, i did not.
3 songs, 1 unfinished, 2 poems, 2 solid "muzak to download" lists, travel dates, list of nyc restaurants to try, and more things that i'm trying to recall.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
good food, good alcohol, too much dancing, sore feet. i love it!
Monday, July 18, 2011
i'm in awe of how they've managed to stay friends all these years...most specially during those times when there's no such thing as facebook. from raising their own families and moving from here and there all over the world and not seeing each other for years, their friendship stayed the same. losing touch is very foreign to them.
over the years, i became really picky with the people who i keep close. learning from my past? mos def. i have friend friends. i also have those beyond amazing friends who i can fully trust my future only child with. you know what i mean? man, i wish the friendships i have now will last, if not longer, just as long as 33 years. that'll be uber sweet.
we're very lucky to have all these different means of communication around us. u.ti.lize. text your hombres. it'll mean so much.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
try the screamo version of mandy moore’s song “crush.” it’s good for the lungs and voicebox stuff.
beers. stuffed burgers. vodka. more beers.
also, on bended knee.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
- they muffled the french part of the flight announcements. iLOL.
- if you keep on pushing you'll get the truth. or get punched in the face.
- apple juice.
- christianmingle.com hahaha. i wonder if there's a hornychristian.com. that'll be a sell-out.
- i see snowy mountaintops.
- claudine's mom made me tuna sandwiches for my trip back. she's awesome! yes, person next to me, i have delicious in my mouth.
- breakout kings season finale tonight. as if i really watch it.
- highly functioning.
- tulog manok.
- alright, home now. i miss the heat heat.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
- back of the plane.
- girl in front of me got told (big time!) by another passenger for being on the phone still as we are pulling away from the gate. embarrassing.
- forgetting sarah marshall is on.
- beautiful sunset is much more beautiful up here. i wish you have the same view.
- i did not take a single tablet for 4 days. now my phalanges are hurting...bad #onmedscanbeabitchsometimes
- my beverage of choice while en route? apple juice....unless wine is free.
- not peeing again. this fact isn't boding well with my watching of criminal minds on board.
- i'm really zoning out right now. zzzzz....
- criminal minds marathon!
- this flight is really taxing.
- the view of the bay area lights is always lovely to me.
- we are swerving. on the runway. what??
- hello, san francisco!
Friday, May 20, 2011
- flight attendant: "please turn off everything with an 'i' now".
- o'hare airport.....A+! it's up there with SFO, JFK and singapore international in my book. man, i could only wish for YEG to be as nice.
- heathrow, you have til 2012 summer olympics. impress me. #yes #coziamthesolereasonforthesummerganes #conceitedtweet #tellmeimpretty
- just took photos of the clouds. they look much more gorgeous from up here. hence, i book the window seat most of the time.
- reason #2 for my love of window seats: i can hold my pee for hours. once on a vancouver-korea flight, for 10-11 hours, i didn't use the toilet at all.
- throw some mad props too coz me and my sister ate A LOT during that flight. bibimbap your life!
- i don't want to fall asleep. it's a full flight. me don't wants to get...incepted.
- direct tv entertainment on continental. yeah it sucks. they'll just make you salivate. 6-8 dollars for entertainment. capitalism! buy a dildo!
- metric and me.
- the pizza smell from seat 31F is overpowering the smell of my white castles. #winning
- cross check yourself before you wreck yourself. what?
- can i just say how pleasantly awesome it is to finally meet @LOPchelle? fun tiny times!
- aannnddddd.....i'm now sneezing. WTF?!
- come on baby play me something like "here comes the sun."
- *looks out the window* there's swamp everywhere. this is florida for me?
Thursday, May 19, 2011
- these old ladies are LOUD! and there's 7 of them. they look like those people on those carnivale cruise ads. it's fucking 7:15 am!!!
- they replaced the "no smoking" light signs with "turn off your electronics." i took this as...."go light one!"
- ra ra riot and me.
- my meds are in my check-in luggage. shite. i kinda need them. oh well. i'll live. or will i?
- reading about alex honnold and free solo climbing. i wish i had the skill and courage to do what he does.
- i could hold on if you learn to compromise.
- ay putang ina! learn the art of pulling yourself up!! stop tugging the back of my seat!!
- lady next to me just took over about 1/4 of my chair with her left thigh. yep, i took a photo. go to my flickr page.
- going to meet @LOPchelle in about an hour! excitezzzzz!
- i look like shit, not THE shit.
- and there's a reason for me not being able to look like a breathing human. was supposed to leave for the airport at 5 am for my 7 am flight....*drumroll*....i woke up at 5. oy.
- hold still, bladder. we're almost there.
wait for the ORD - FLL one.
Monday, May 16, 2011
about 900 people lost their homes and everything else. it's so heartbreaking what they are going through right now.
relief efforts have already started. do your part. the citizens of slave lake have nothing else but our help and support.
here are some ways to help:
- check out the the different drop off lcoations via #yeg collections for slave lake fire victims. donations can be anything from clothes, shoes, and basic hygiene needs, baby supplies.
- for monetary donations, you may send them via redcross.ca
- if you're with telus, customers can text "REDCROSS" to 30333 to donate $5.
never think that you can't make a difference in these people's lives. every little bit of help counts. little helps can grow into much much bigger helps. y'know what i mean? please do your part and support.
you will be blessed in 10 folds, i promise you. if not 10...20!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
now my feet won't touch the ground.
people assumed many different interpretations to this song. i have two. both ends on the note that we will all, eventually, become invincible.
one: the person in the song is goig through death. he's asking his friends/family to let go of him as he is so sure that he's headed to a much more better place. a place where he'll no longer feel pain and suffering no matter what.
two: it's about someone who is too in love. "you wait a lifetime to be found." we all wait for that someone to find us. we all look for that someone. and when we do find that person, the feeling of elation is indescribable. you know you are both bound to give everything to each other. "rocks await. swoop down from the sky and catch me like a bird of prey." hurting won't even matter.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
here are the responses:
peggy: "the feel and smell of a brand new container of play-doh, and the look and smell of a brand new giant box of crayola crayons."
jai: "a bee sting, a dog bite...could remind you of your favorite things."
michelle: "kisses, laughs and wine (not necessarily in that order)."
erika: "you =)"
darin: "vodka and my BFFs."
ros: "chocolate and coffee."
darci: "wine, specifically."
this is one my ultimate favorite things...that feeling you get when you lay on your back after a long day of swimming in the ocean and you can still feel the push and pull of the water.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
"people can surprise you. you get used to thinking of them one way, stuck in their roles,
they are what they are. and then they do something that shows you there's all this depth
and dimension that you never knew existed." --mitchell, modern family
almost every morning, i pick up breakfast at the tim's by my work building. and almost every morning, i see this regular customer. he usually just sits there and enjoy his hearty breakfast. he didn't look grand nor friendly. on monday morning, a homeless (i assume he is coz he looked the part) person came in. out of nowhere, mister regular customer walks up to him with a bag of food and a big cup of coffee. the look on the homeless face was priceless. that is something you don't see everyday. let alone on a monday.
i was taken aback by what i saw. then it got me thinking......have i done enough for somebody else? how many times have i shunned the oppotunity to help a stranger? how many random acts of kindness am i willing to give for the rest of my life? have i been very nice to people? shown pure kindness and love to my family? accepted my friends for who they are? am i good enough? i don't know. there's a lot to learn from people. people who are different from what i know i am.
i need to do something radical. something way out of my comfort zone. something i think is beyond me.
must. start. planning.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
- surface (general info you'd share with anyone)
- facts and reports (more specific but not private)
- opinions and judgments (your thoughts on a wide range of subjects, including religion and morality)
- feelings (your personal emotional status and how you react to various circumstances)
- vulnerability (admitting your faults to another)
- intimacy (in-to-me-see; they can tell you about faults you do not see in yourself)
- complete (total openness & trust)
the explanations for every level is pretty straight forward. think...ponder...do whatever you have to do. the last level has to be earned. that is all.
where are we?
Monday, March 14, 2011
ok so i spontaneously went out for dranks after work. my phone ran out of juice and couldn't tweet as much as i would've. so yeah, here...what i would've tweeted:
- i'm austronesian! damn it!
- fucking atheists.
- praise the lord.
- your mouth is dirty. your mouth supplies floating stuff for your beer.
- hehe twitter secrets.
fucking racist atheists.
- jerks. nobody wants to join us? fiiiiiine.
- drink my filth. DRINK MY FILTH!!!
- does the sun make me look like jesus drinking beer?
- idiots using drive-thru ATMs. *shakes my head* that's your people! she is not asian! that's 1-1 for chinks!
- fucking gay racist atheists.
- if you want to play footsie, just let me know. my legs may be short but....
- lick your beer.
- i know people who should definitely go look for a job.
- fucking jobless gay racist atheists.
- we're so very couple-y. our tongues are green.
- let's go on a trip! australia!
- #LBS2012 - wait for this epicness.
- not so pure now, am i?
- just coz i giggled about something doesn't mean i'm toying with the valuable info i just shared to you.
damn! hell no, i'm not going to post the ones that i'm not allowed to tweet. that's right, you goddamn wish you were there!
disclaimer: i don't hate atheists or gay people or any other race. act on whatever you see fit, i don't care. as long as you're not hurting anyone, go ahead. i won't stand in your way. if you really know me, i can be the most non-judging person you'll ever meet. i don't hate.
so that's me ending my monday on a good note. i always love spending time with jodie. she's the best! enjoy the rest of your week!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
i will remember today.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
last night, i dreamt about my mother getting her drink on. she was so hammered in the dream. the kicker? a) i don't have any recollection of her vodka-ing it up in real life. b) she got wasted with one of my twitter friends, nissa a.k.a. @APolishBeauty. they're second life bffs or something. when they were moths.
(pardon the lack of twitter page link as i'm posting this via mobile.)
Monday, February 14, 2011
the #grammys tweeting crowd were asking about the difference between the "record of the year" and "song of the year."
as per the grammy.com......
the record of the year award goes to the artists, producers, engineers, and mixers.
whilst, the song of the year award goes to the songwriters and the songwriters alone.
you're very much welcome.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
me: "i'm really glad you're telling me these things. this is more than healthy."
bff: "yeah. hey remember that one time when we shared a curtain-less bathroom? you we're showering as i do my #2?"
me: "that moment absolutely cemented our friendship, didn't it?"
is it may yet?
Monday, February 7, 2011
saturday night, i went out with my dear friends jodie and nicki. yeppers, pissed drunk and all (i'm not very proud). i went home with a bruised knee coz i fell. i had no idea how it happened but was told that the falling was epic. jodie took my phone away coz i was calling long distance (much worse than drunk texting, i guess) and drunk tweeting things that make no sense at all. exhibit a: http://tinyurl.com/4svswsh
drunken karaoke!!! and i don't think we'll go back to that place again. too much creepiness.
sadly, i'm no longer vomit free since 2009. *tear*
yesterday, i swore that there'll be no alchy for me til, at least, may. why may? i'll let you know soon.
i love my friends to the core.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
i went out for evan's birthday on saturday night. karaoke and beer and shots and beer.
i'm well aware that i was texting some people that night...more so when things started to spin non-stop.
now as i sit here and backtrack, oh dear.....
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
here's a part of it...
you, user friendly waste of skin
i can't believe i let you in
in that hell hole you call a home
collection of ceramic thrones
Thursday, January 6, 2011
so this morning, instead of complaining, i decided to be a little productive. managed to finish a song (finally), write a poem, process a second poem, organize ny emails, and pay my credit card bills. surprise surprise, i still have money left after spending the holidays in europe.
(will blog about my trip soon...hopefully. when i get some more sleep)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
baby i'm here to stop your crying
chase all the ghosts from your head
i'm stronger than a monster beneath your bed
i'm smarter than the tricks played on your heart
we'll look at them together then we'll take them apart
adding up the totals of a love that's true
multiply life by the power of two
Sunday, January 2, 2011
- waiting in line at the @AirCanada check-in counter. very very taxing. they better not pull that 1 hr before flight leaves policy on us!
- flewran (new word? i think so!) from security to our gate coz the departure board says "AC899 flight closing" son of a bitch!
- should've purchased my cans of relentless in london when i had the chance. stupid stupid.
- i don't like this person i'm seating next to. i'm coughing. stop staring. you want aids? i'll give you tuberculosis!
- watching tbbt. BAZINGA!
- lunch. chicken and pasta with spinach (or some tasty leafy stuff. could be marijuana. who knows).
- now i know why everybody hated the new wall street movie.
- i woke up just in time for....ice cream! and corn chips!
- in my dream, i was going out with carey mulligan. the girl can kiss!
- now watching going the distance. meh. it's alright. i still think justin long is a waste of skin.
- the only good thing about this movie is charlie day, jason sudeikus, and the boxer rebellion.
- shared a pen with the much better seatmate. declaration card time!
- snack time. chikie chi-chinese chi-chinese chicken wrap. and another bottle of white wine.
- i drink a lot when i'm 38,000 ft in the sky. most specially, when i'm not seated next to my mother.
- ...and another one.
- been meaning to watch this show rookie blue. now, i know why i didn't waste the time.
- ok that's a little harsh.
- 30 more mins til edmonton! looking forward to my own bed.
- do you laugh out loud on the plane? while watching a movie? that only you can see and hear? luda!
- landed! whaa whaaatttt!!!!!! can't wait to see my fajah!
i miss london....and paris. again on 2012!