Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
from gamesradar.com forums...
23 ways to annoy people on a lift (elevator)
1)CRACK open your bag, peer Inside and ask, "got enough air in there?"2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you "Admiral."5) MEOW occasionally.6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "you're one of THEM?" and back away slowly.7) SAY -DING at each floor.8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the buttons.9) MAKE explosion noises when someone presses a button.10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "i have new socks on."11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "is that your beeper?"12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "this is my personal space."14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "hi greg, how's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "that's mine!"19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.22) CALL out "group hug" then enforce it.23) When the lift is going down scream "we're gonna die"
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
be true to yourself no matter what. that's the only thing that matters. do not succumb to people's judgment. if they are not feeling you, so what? you will never compromise your being you just to fit in. trust me, there are people who will always love you for who you are. surround yourself with them.
being different is awesome.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
In a generation marked by relativism the public arena is filled with differing views on the largest issues of our time. The primary source from which we draw our worldview defines where we stand and why. The following are 10 biblical truths that shape my worldview:
1. Every human being has innate dignity: Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in His own image."
2. Life is to be valued from the womb: Psalm 139:13 "You knit me together in my mother's womb."
3. A nation that honors God will prosper but a nation that turns its back on God will not: Proverbs 14:34 "Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people."
4. Image without character comes up short: I Samuel 16:7 "Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart."
5. We make an eternal investment when we tend to the poor: Proverbs 19:17 "One who is gracious to a poor man lends to the Lord, and He will repay him for his good deeds."
6. We are nurturing God's handiwork when we protect the earth: Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."
7. We must stand against injustice wherever it is found: Amos 5:15 "Hate evil, and love good and establish justice."
8. Possessions alone will never satisfy the heart of man: Luke 12:15 "...be on guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
9. Love has the power to heal a broken world: John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."
10. Death is not the final word: Isaiah 25:8 "He will swallow up death for all time."
The Scriptures tell us that it is in seeking first the Kingdom of God that we properly prioritize everything else. The issues that we face on a global and personal level demand that our convictions and actions be based in something more than subjectivity. The question that will define us more than any other is upon what do we base our worldview.
Rev. Bill Shuler is pastor of Capital Life church in Arlington, Virginia.
think about it
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
- US OPEN! if you're following me on twitter, you twitter feed was probably flooded with #usopen tweets from me whenever a match was on. pardon me. i play tennis vicariously through those amazing players. i enjoyed the legendary "upsets" a lot. melanie oudin brought the first wave of upsets. then she let kim clijsters and juan martin del potro deliver the rest of them. i now wonder where have all these bandwagoners have gone? hmmm....
- the serena williams meltdown. that was something i didn't expect to see from an athlete such as her. if only she's smart enough to just kept on with trying to survive the hell hole that kim clijsters has managed to put her in, we could've seen a third set in that semis match. as for the other recipient of the "WTF?! moment" award, kanye west. meh. i could care less about him. that guy has "douchebag" written all over his birth certificate. i just hope he notices that his hip-hop pals are now listening to country music. classy, that taylor swift is.
- babies! baby joey daniel is here! congratulations to the lovable and adorable ibarras! God bless!
here is walker nathaniel diggs too. seriously, taye...let me carry your 2nd!
- rip patrick swayze. sadly, death has put baby patrick in his corner. goodnight, lover boy.
- the annual broadway on broadway took place last sunday. i soooo want to attend one. must plan another summer trip to NYC that would perfectly go well with the US open dates. oh and check this out. jennifer damiano accidentally drops the C word at the 00:23 mark. aaron tveit is droolage.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
serena williams cursing at a lines person.
"i swear to god i'm gonna fucking take this ball and shove it into your fuckin face(?). do you hear me? i swear...."
i don't know the rest. it's difficult to hear. you can hear the bleeps though.
i love how they do not tolerate this kind of sportsmanship and attitude in the US open. it's a shame that serena lost due to a violation and not coz kim clijsters REALLY swooped her tush to the max that it got to her mind and totally ruined her game.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
- GLEE is officially here! zomg! but to tell you the truth, if it weren't for matthew morrison and lea michele, i won't be watching this show (ssshhhh). but bleh what do i know? it's a ryan murphy show. try it. it's a fun and entertaining show. IT'S NOT GODDAMN HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL!
- rick rolled! katie (@pibby) and i has been rick rolling each other with this video. i don't know about you but we find it hilarious. julie atherton anybody? come on!
- #yegdonair. finally! my first official tweetup with some of edmonton tweeps. yay! we met at this donair place in the millwoods area and indulged in some goodness. first time that we all tried a donair poutine too. it was epic! and also happy beer nicki! looking forward to more #yegdonair tweetups with you guys...specially now that i know none of us are ax murderers.
- the US open. kim clijsters is back yo! her comeback story is just amazing. she's a mom now. oh and melanie oudin (in picture)? that kid sure has something! would've really enjoyed seeing her battle it out with serena williams in the finals. too bad wozniacki prevented that from happening in the quarterfinals. oudin's story was serena's back in 1999...well almost...coz serena ended up taking home the trophy. legendary.
- i'm obsessing with the HAIR revival cast recording - need i say more? gavin creel singing "manchester england" and "i got life" is pure joy...so as will swenson's version of "donna."
Sunday, September 6, 2009
- suck up! - suck up to the one that is not related to you by blood (your uncle's wife or your aunt's husband). they can and will say anything against you. your blood relative will always be your relative. the in-laws, no. they can kick you out whenever they want and for whatever reason. so yeah, suck up to the one who is in no way related to you by blood and your golden.
- respect - respect their house norms and their so-called "routine". don't act like it is them who has to adjust to you. it's YOU who needs to adjust to them. so if they're watching tv and you felt the need to sing, expect them to turn up the volume and prompt yourself to shut the fuck up. the volume is your cue to shut vocal chords.
- help out - help around the house without being told. do some chores. it's bad enough that they're feeding you and letting you stay with them for free. do your fucking part! at least water the plants...or wash that coffee cup YOU used.
- be considerate - since you're staying for free. help conserving the use of utilities. it's recession season. time's have changed. we get charged for every goddamn thing.
- don't expect anything - never NEVER expect anything from them. dude, come on. you're living with them already. what more do you fuckin want?! get killed?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
101 ways to annoy people:
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.