epiphany - a sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something; a revelatory manifestation of a divine being.
ever had one of those? i am pretty sure i've had one...errr..still having one. it has been looming in my thoughts and actions for the last couple of weeks. i find it mind blowing that and a tad hard to deal with. doing something radical that will completely change you as a person is pretty easy to speak of and yet very tough to put into action.
struggle. struggling - word that should be on my status.
there are times that i may seem like i am in a really good place but am actually not. that sure is a news to you, my friend. yes, i do have down times too. down times are good. struggling is good. it makes you be the most positive human being you can ever be. i've been to that point where it felt like i'm losing everything. my mind was not in the perspective, i nonchalantly shunned myself from any personal connections, i managed to hurt the people i love. i did horrible things that made me feel like an obnoxious sinner. the kind that doesn't care about being saved. then i started to question Him. then i stumbled upon this bible passage. jeremiah 33:3 "call to Me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own." i learned to take it as a blessing to be caught up in a frustrating situation. why? because i know it will just make my faith in Him grow stronger. see, He gives us trials not to punish us but to remind us that He has always got our back no matter what. He did a lot of amazing stuff for those who have come before me. if he did it for them, i don't see any reason why he can't do it for me as well. all i need to do is to take my chance with him. i need to stop gambling and betting on possibilities that has no proof of succeeding. He has showered me with a lot of promises. He is just waiting for me to claim them...each of them.
as i continue to deal with temptations and compromising situations every single day, i know i am being reminded that it's about time that i REALLY make things right with Him. i've been lost and found way too many times and i'm getting tired of it.
must move on.